Its a journey.

I will start this out by saying this is not an easy thing to write out. It hasn't always been an easy journey and I didn't always fight for my child when I should have, but where we are is where we are meant to be and I pray that this can give other parents the strength to fight for their child and the hope that there is another way.

My oldest son was born himself. I often have told the story of his 2 week check up with our family doctor and just being in tears because he NEVER SLEPT! Why won't he sleep?!?! Being a first time mom the doctor of course looked at me like a I was nuts! That I just didn't understand how having a newborn was and I wrote it off as such. He was scooting across his bed at 3 weeks old. He started talking very early (and never stopped) and was running by his first birthday. I thought all this was wonderful of course! But the sleep it never got better, and he was always very easily woken and upset. When he was two it was suggested that I try the "super nanny method" of just picking him up and putting him back in his bed over and over again. This of course did not work... I spent hours sitting outside his room crying and putting him back.

He's always been extremely smart (although he was only enroll in an actual preschool program for less then 4 months) he knew his colors, letter, shapes, and was "reading" (memorizing) all of his bedtime stories before his 3rd birthday. I of course just thought I was an awesome mom that I was just teaching him these things so well. But in reality he was just learning from his environment and he would soak ANYTHING you said or did like a sponge (trust me! read my blurb about my cussing problem). So naturally I thought he would be amazing at school! No problem!

From the very beginning there were many "parent/teacher" meetings, ARD meetings (to discuss special ed), notes home, and red circles on his folder calendar. I didn't understand what had happened to my child. He no longer had any interest in reading, he couldn't tell me the colors, or letters that he saw, it was as if he had disconnected from all the things he previously knew. His first kindergarten teacher couldn't "handle him" in her class so he was moved to another class, and his new teacher was amazing and sweet but nothing got better. He would come home and tell me no one in his class wanted to be friends with him because he was the "bad kid". They moved him to a single desk while all the other kids got to sit at circle tables. He was isolated. He felt alone. And more often then not he did not get to have any recess time due to the behavior color he was one (the one publicly displayed).

He moved on to 1st grade. He was suspended within the first week for "tackling" another student in gym class while they were playing. The school had a "strict no violence policy" and although he was not done in anger he was suspended for 2 days. He was suspended on multiple occasions another reason being the time he "blew his snot on another student" (this specific incident was witnessed by no adults and was only reported by another child). There were more meetings and more ARD conferences, and then the time they try to convince me that my child had a speech issue so they could send him to the district physiatrist (I never quite understood the connection they were trying to make there but I adamantly declined that suggestion).

I was told over and over that he was so far behind. He was reading/writing on a first semester kindergarten level and only because that was the lowest level they had for the test. There were hours of homework each night that usually ended in us both in tears. He would melt down and cry every time you would ask him to read a word or what sound a letter made. At the end of his 1st grade year I asked that he be held back because I did not want him going on to 2nd still at a "first semester kindergarten level" and I was denied. They made it a point to test him and tell me over and over again how behind he was but they would not hold him back.

So I took him out of school, unenrolled him. I personally couldn't handle the heartache anymore that had become the school system. I couldn't see my child struggle and made fun of and mocked on a daily basis. I refused to let my child be publicly labeled a "bad kid" or failure any longer. My husband was less then thrilled, but I have a brother that reminds me a lot of my oldest son. He's extremely intelligent (beyond the words I have to express it) and just never did well in school.

We started with trying to do "school at home" based homeschool but honestly that didn't go over much better then the homework did. He still struggled with a lot of big emotions and meltdowns when attempting to "make" him do school work or learn things. We then moved on to learning based on his interests. He would have a goal in mind (for example geocaching) so we would set out a course for him to learn the skills to accomplish this goal. This worked amazingly! I choose not to push anything he didn't want to or couldn't do and we would move on. I would read instructions to him in games, books, and things he needed to know to get done what he was doing. Now he chooses what to do I don't force "learning" on him. Then the other day (more then 7 months into this) he read to me a sign on a door it said "do not enter". While this is probably pretty insignificant to most 8 year olds this was close to a miracle for my child.

We have a long road to go and a lot of hurt and bad feelings to undo but our family is happy. We are whole. And more then anything we are blessed to have our son back.

Poe Wovens Merlot Herringbone

I got the amazing pleasure of getting to try this wrap that has already been broken in with the love of so many mamas on its travels. It is great to be able to compare this with the ring sling that just left that was still very new. 

This wrap gets so very soft! but still has no sag and retains its strength when broken in. It passed the "ruck test" with my 40 lb'er without an issue at all. 

The support of this wrap is something that is usually accompanied with bulk or thickness, but this wrap is amazingly moldable and not overwhelming. I don't often encounter wraps at this point in our babywearing journey that appeal to my preference for thinner wraps (that are moldable) and can still offer the support that is needed when carrying heavier children.

The color is subtle and classy (things I am not ;) ) but still maintains the boldness of the pattern with the contrast of the colors. This would make both a great everyday wrap and a more dressy wrap. 

This is a wrap that can take you through your babywearing days. From newborn to preschooler it offers both the softness and support to keep your babies close as long as you want. 

Why my toddler is covered in chocolate syrup and has no shoes on...

As you see the look of exhausted on my face and your eyes wonder to my beautiful yet very messy children (maybe dressed a little to eccentrically for your personal taste... You know lime green and yellow polka dots ARE A BIT MUCH *with* a striped shirt!!!) ... OMG THAT BABY DOESNT HAVE SHOES ON! 

Do you know it's 50 degrees outside he's going to catch a cold! (not to mention he's covered in what looks like chocolate syrup ... It is ok?) You judge me. A few of you out loud to me (and I'm sure many more in private). So let me tell you: 

Today my over stimulated, over tired, precious lovely toddler (almost 3) decided instead of falling asleep at nap time he was going to sneak into the kitchen... Into the fridge where some poor soul left the chocolate syrup in the door right.at.little.people.eye.level. and proceeded to attempt to chug it and you know get chocolate wasted like all the cool kids. Only to realize it's gross and then spill it all over the floor and couch and chair and himself. It was attempted to be cleaned off him but at some moments you have to choose your battles and well the clean up job wasn't perfect. 

We were going to just avoid the world the rest of the day and it came to my attention that someone (OMG me!) didn't actually defrost anything for dinner... And then it starts!!! 

My toddler HATES THE ACT OF DRESSING! Dressing... Undressing... Pointing out there are clothes available to wear. H.A.T.E. There is screaming and crying and all the sadness! I spend countless hours a week explaining that one must cover one's penis to leave the house. So 30 minutes into it HE HAS A SHIRT AND PANTS ON OK?!?!? You think I'm going to try for shoes?!?! If there's one thing he hates more then dressing it's shoes! But let's be honest so do I if it was socially acceptable I wouldn't wear that shit either kid! Rock it while you can! 

So here we are wondering aimlessly around the store in search of food... So keep YOUR EYES AND COMMENTS TO YOURSELF! My children are loved and happy and hopefully soon fed. Or you know maybe I'll just throw donuts at them and call a night. But really is that any of your business? Nope, no. Go away! 

Poe Wovens Herringbone Lake Ring Sling Review

I've never owned or used a herringbone wrap and when I opened this traveler it was not what u was expecting! It was strong and solid in hand and had a bit of give to it. 

After a wash and dry I found it to be way more supportive in a ring sling then I was prepared for! My son is tittering on the 40lb line and to be quite frank I wasn't expecting much from a ring sling. But it was solid and supportive and hugged my son's booty in the sling with an amazing floppiness that I didn't expect from the feel in hand. 

The pleats are beautiful and well thought out. 

We are not fancy people but I feel this could really be worn dressed up or our usual casualness. Yes it's blue, yes I hate blue, but there's something really beautiful about the contrast of the weave that I find really appealing even despite the color itself. 

This wrap really shines as a ring sling for heavier babies, toddlers, and on into the preschool years. Its also soft enough that it would make a good ring sling for a younger baby, so a great long term wearing investment. 

(Disclaimer: I wore and loved this ring sling for a solid two weeks but my main wearee is on an anti-babywearing photo kick so the pictures are of my middle baby who loves having his picture taken.) 

Homeschooling and distracting the tiny ones.

We lean very heavily unschooling. This doesn't mean we don't do "schoolwork", but instead that we do "schoolwork" my son is REALLY passionate about. 

My oldest is 7, and he is a wonderful, passionate, focused, loving, dramatic child. The issue is when you put his passion and his focus together (usually when he's pinning and categorizing his insects) he canNOT handle people interrupting his "flow". I get this. No, really little dude I feel you completely! 

So my "job" (besides helping when he asks for it) when he is focusing is finding new and inventive ways to distract his little brothers (4 and 2). We are currently amidst a screen free month (and while Daniel Tiger is awesome he really didn't hold a candle to how interesting ACTUAL INSECTS ARE!) 

So these are a couple methods we've used as distraction this last week. (Keep in mind I am the world's cheapest homeschooler so these are all pretty budget friendly) 

Rainbow dyed beans (http://www.funathomewithkids.com/2014/02/how-to-color-beans-for-play-and-art.html):

I had the kids help me make them. 

Then made sensory trays

We used the remains of the rainbow beans (there was a water incident) and the undyed ones to make glow-in-the-dark find it bags (presented here in light to actually see them), the snakes/lizards in the rainbow bag glow and there are glow beads in the other.

Food colored water, eye droppers, and cotton balls made a pretty fun color mixing activity. This actually amused them for a good 10 minutes before anyone tried to drink the waters or disassemble the eye droppers. I say that's a success! 

Ovolo Fletching Review

Wrap size: 6 

Length: 4,91

Width: 68 cm

True to size: Measures long but wraps true to size.

Weight: 1243 grams

Blend: 100% cotton

Age/weight of wrappee: 2.5 years and 40lbs / 4 years and 35lbs

Thank you North DFW Babywearers for letting me borrow this wrap!

(https://www.facebook.com/NorthDFWBabywearers)

I'm not particularly moved by the pattern of this wrap but I could see how others who have calmer taste then I would like this. I also really dislike blue (no seriously its the worst of the colors!), but this is a really pretty blue if you have to wear blue. But I'm not here for the looks of this wrap I'm really moved by the wrapping qualities! I'm really impressed (and for me that says a lot).

If I were to only use one word to explain this wrap it would be SMOOSH! (I mean look at it it just LOOKS smooshy!) From first feel in hand, to first wrap, and then into an hour long shopping trip, that word describes this wrap again and again. Its just smooshy! Its the kind of wrap that makes you want to rub it on your cheek (thats a normal feeling right?) because its so soft. 

I do NOT sandwich my shoulders (personal preference) which usually causes pressure points in thicker wraps with my chunk. With this wrap even wrapping my dead weight sleeping toddler on my back straight from the car in a less then stellar wrap job I barely even felt the wrap on my shoulders. Being that my child is 40 lbs I can no longer even think about using the term "weightless", but I have a feeling this wrap is about as close to that feeling as we can get. 

Again for a chest pass all I can think is “smoosh”, because I realize this isn’t a very technical term I’ll add that its “moldable” and has amazing bounce to it. I was able to tighten my chest pass without restricting my chest. The passes glide into place with almost the stretch of Nati bamboo without the inevitable sag. The carry stays supportive and solid while still soft and comfortable.

I did find slight annoyance that the wrap doesn't have enough grip to hold a single knot but is way too thick to double knot. This was easily bypassed by just doing knotless finishes though; so I would keep that in mind if you are looking to purchase in the decision on what size to get. 

While I think this wrap would be stellar from newborn to toddler and beyond I personally would not recommend it for a new wrapper. Between the thickness of the wrap and the bounce/stretch that is has it may seem overwhelming for a newer wrapper that doesn’t know how to handle those qualities. 

Surround yourself...

A wise woman once told me:

Surround yourself with people that possess the qualities you wish to aspire to. 

So today I will strive to surround myself with people who are: 

Fearless

Passionate

Truthful 

Loving 

Giving 

Selfless

People who do good for good's sake instead of self promotion. 

Those who love and forgive those who have harmed them. 

As these are the things I want to be. 

That and I want people that aren't offended by myself, my cussing problem ;) , or my children. That'd be cool too.