Its a journey.

I will start this out by saying this is not an easy thing to write out. It hasn't always been an easy journey and I didn't always fight for my child when I should have, but where we are is where we are meant to be and I pray that this can give other parents the strength to fight for their child and the hope that there is another way.

My oldest son was born himself. I often have told the story of his 2 week check up with our family doctor and just being in tears because he NEVER SLEPT! Why won't he sleep?!?! Being a first time mom the doctor of course looked at me like a I was nuts! That I just didn't understand how having a newborn was and I wrote it off as such. He was scooting across his bed at 3 weeks old. He started talking very early (and never stopped) and was running by his first birthday. I thought all this was wonderful of course! But the sleep it never got better, and he was always very easily woken and upset. When he was two it was suggested that I try the "super nanny method" of just picking him up and putting him back in his bed over and over again. This of course did not work... I spent hours sitting outside his room crying and putting him back.

He's always been extremely smart (although he was only enroll in an actual preschool program for less then 4 months) he knew his colors, letter, shapes, and was "reading" (memorizing) all of his bedtime stories before his 3rd birthday. I of course just thought I was an awesome mom that I was just teaching him these things so well. But in reality he was just learning from his environment and he would soak ANYTHING you said or did like a sponge (trust me! read my blurb about my cussing problem). So naturally I thought he would be amazing at school! No problem!

From the very beginning there were many "parent/teacher" meetings, ARD meetings (to discuss special ed), notes home, and red circles on his folder calendar. I didn't understand what had happened to my child. He no longer had any interest in reading, he couldn't tell me the colors, or letters that he saw, it was as if he had disconnected from all the things he previously knew. His first kindergarten teacher couldn't "handle him" in her class so he was moved to another class, and his new teacher was amazing and sweet but nothing got better. He would come home and tell me no one in his class wanted to be friends with him because he was the "bad kid". They moved him to a single desk while all the other kids got to sit at circle tables. He was isolated. He felt alone. And more often then not he did not get to have any recess time due to the behavior color he was one (the one publicly displayed).

He moved on to 1st grade. He was suspended within the first week for "tackling" another student in gym class while they were playing. The school had a "strict no violence policy" and although he was not done in anger he was suspended for 2 days. He was suspended on multiple occasions another reason being the time he "blew his snot on another student" (this specific incident was witnessed by no adults and was only reported by another child). There were more meetings and more ARD conferences, and then the time they try to convince me that my child had a speech issue so they could send him to the district physiatrist (I never quite understood the connection they were trying to make there but I adamantly declined that suggestion).

I was told over and over that he was so far behind. He was reading/writing on a first semester kindergarten level and only because that was the lowest level they had for the test. There were hours of homework each night that usually ended in us both in tears. He would melt down and cry every time you would ask him to read a word or what sound a letter made. At the end of his 1st grade year I asked that he be held back because I did not want him going on to 2nd still at a "first semester kindergarten level" and I was denied. They made it a point to test him and tell me over and over again how behind he was but they would not hold him back.

So I took him out of school, unenrolled him. I personally couldn't handle the heartache anymore that had become the school system. I couldn't see my child struggle and made fun of and mocked on a daily basis. I refused to let my child be publicly labeled a "bad kid" or failure any longer. My husband was less then thrilled, but I have a brother that reminds me a lot of my oldest son. He's extremely intelligent (beyond the words I have to express it) and just never did well in school.

We started with trying to do "school at home" based homeschool but honestly that didn't go over much better then the homework did. He still struggled with a lot of big emotions and meltdowns when attempting to "make" him do school work or learn things. We then moved on to learning based on his interests. He would have a goal in mind (for example geocaching) so we would set out a course for him to learn the skills to accomplish this goal. This worked amazingly! I choose not to push anything he didn't want to or couldn't do and we would move on. I would read instructions to him in games, books, and things he needed to know to get done what he was doing. Now he chooses what to do I don't force "learning" on him. Then the other day (more then 7 months into this) he read to me a sign on a door it said "do not enter". While this is probably pretty insignificant to most 8 year olds this was close to a miracle for my child.

We have a long road to go and a lot of hurt and bad feelings to undo but our family is happy. We are whole. And more then anything we are blessed to have our son back.

Poe Wovens Merlot Herringbone

I got the amazing pleasure of getting to try this wrap that has already been broken in with the love of so many mamas on its travels. It is great to be able to compare this with the ring sling that just left that was still very new. 

This wrap gets so very soft! but still has no sag and retains its strength when broken in. It passed the "ruck test" with my 40 lb'er without an issue at all. 

The support of this wrap is something that is usually accompanied with bulk or thickness, but this wrap is amazingly moldable and not overwhelming. I don't often encounter wraps at this point in our babywearing journey that appeal to my preference for thinner wraps (that are moldable) and can still offer the support that is needed when carrying heavier children.

The color is subtle and classy (things I am not ;) ) but still maintains the boldness of the pattern with the contrast of the colors. This would make both a great everyday wrap and a more dressy wrap. 

This is a wrap that can take you through your babywearing days. From newborn to preschooler it offers both the softness and support to keep your babies close as long as you want. 

Why my toddler is covered in chocolate syrup and has no shoes on...

As you see the look of exhausted on my face and your eyes wonder to my beautiful yet very messy children (maybe dressed a little to eccentrically for your personal taste... You know lime green and yellow polka dots ARE A BIT MUCH *with* a striped shirt!!!) ... OMG THAT BABY DOESNT HAVE SHOES ON! 

Do you know it's 50 degrees outside he's going to catch a cold! (not to mention he's covered in what looks like chocolate syrup ... It is ok?) You judge me. A few of you out loud to me (and I'm sure many more in private). So let me tell you: 

Today my over stimulated, over tired, precious lovely toddler (almost 3) decided instead of falling asleep at nap time he was going to sneak into the kitchen... Into the fridge where some poor soul left the chocolate syrup in the door right.at.little.people.eye.level. and proceeded to attempt to chug it and you know get chocolate wasted like all the cool kids. Only to realize it's gross and then spill it all over the floor and couch and chair and himself. It was attempted to be cleaned off him but at some moments you have to choose your battles and well the clean up job wasn't perfect. 

We were going to just avoid the world the rest of the day and it came to my attention that someone (OMG me!) didn't actually defrost anything for dinner... And then it starts!!! 

My toddler HATES THE ACT OF DRESSING! Dressing... Undressing... Pointing out there are clothes available to wear. H.A.T.E. There is screaming and crying and all the sadness! I spend countless hours a week explaining that one must cover one's penis to leave the house. So 30 minutes into it HE HAS A SHIRT AND PANTS ON OK?!?!? You think I'm going to try for shoes?!?! If there's one thing he hates more then dressing it's shoes! But let's be honest so do I if it was socially acceptable I wouldn't wear that shit either kid! Rock it while you can! 

So here we are wondering aimlessly around the store in search of food... So keep YOUR EYES AND COMMENTS TO YOURSELF! My children are loved and happy and hopefully soon fed. Or you know maybe I'll just throw donuts at them and call a night. But really is that any of your business? Nope, no. Go away! 

Poe Wovens Herringbone Lake Ring Sling Review

I've never owned or used a herringbone wrap and when I opened this traveler it was not what u was expecting! It was strong and solid in hand and had a bit of give to it. 

After a wash and dry I found it to be way more supportive in a ring sling then I was prepared for! My son is tittering on the 40lb line and to be quite frank I wasn't expecting much from a ring sling. But it was solid and supportive and hugged my son's booty in the sling with an amazing floppiness that I didn't expect from the feel in hand. 

The pleats are beautiful and well thought out. 

We are not fancy people but I feel this could really be worn dressed up or our usual casualness. Yes it's blue, yes I hate blue, but there's something really beautiful about the contrast of the weave that I find really appealing even despite the color itself. 

This wrap really shines as a ring sling for heavier babies, toddlers, and on into the preschool years. Its also soft enough that it would make a good ring sling for a younger baby, so a great long term wearing investment. 

(Disclaimer: I wore and loved this ring sling for a solid two weeks but my main wearee is on an anti-babywearing photo kick so the pictures are of my middle baby who loves having his picture taken.) 

Homeschooling and distracting the tiny ones.

We lean very heavily unschooling. This doesn't mean we don't do "schoolwork", but instead that we do "schoolwork" my son is REALLY passionate about. 

My oldest is 7, and he is a wonderful, passionate, focused, loving, dramatic child. The issue is when you put his passion and his focus together (usually when he's pinning and categorizing his insects) he canNOT handle people interrupting his "flow". I get this. No, really little dude I feel you completely! 

So my "job" (besides helping when he asks for it) when he is focusing is finding new and inventive ways to distract his little brothers (4 and 2). We are currently amidst a screen free month (and while Daniel Tiger is awesome he really didn't hold a candle to how interesting ACTUAL INSECTS ARE!) 

So these are a couple methods we've used as distraction this last week. (Keep in mind I am the world's cheapest homeschooler so these are all pretty budget friendly) 

Rainbow dyed beans (http://www.funathomewithkids.com/2014/02/how-to-color-beans-for-play-and-art.html):

I had the kids help me make them. 

Then made sensory trays

We used the remains of the rainbow beans (there was a water incident) and the undyed ones to make glow-in-the-dark find it bags (presented here in light to actually see them), the snakes/lizards in the rainbow bag glow and there are glow beads in the other.

Food colored water, eye droppers, and cotton balls made a pretty fun color mixing activity. This actually amused them for a good 10 minutes before anyone tried to drink the waters or disassemble the eye droppers. I say that's a success! 

Ovolo Fletching Review

Wrap size: 6 

Length: 4,91

Width: 68 cm

True to size: Measures long but wraps true to size.

Weight: 1243 grams

Blend: 100% cotton

Age/weight of wrappee: 2.5 years and 40lbs / 4 years and 35lbs

Thank you North DFW Babywearers for letting me borrow this wrap!

(https://www.facebook.com/NorthDFWBabywearers)

I'm not particularly moved by the pattern of this wrap but I could see how others who have calmer taste then I would like this. I also really dislike blue (no seriously its the worst of the colors!), but this is a really pretty blue if you have to wear blue. But I'm not here for the looks of this wrap I'm really moved by the wrapping qualities! I'm really impressed (and for me that says a lot).

If I were to only use one word to explain this wrap it would be SMOOSH! (I mean look at it it just LOOKS smooshy!) From first feel in hand, to first wrap, and then into an hour long shopping trip, that word describes this wrap again and again. Its just smooshy! Its the kind of wrap that makes you want to rub it on your cheek (thats a normal feeling right?) because its so soft. 

I do NOT sandwich my shoulders (personal preference) which usually causes pressure points in thicker wraps with my chunk. With this wrap even wrapping my dead weight sleeping toddler on my back straight from the car in a less then stellar wrap job I barely even felt the wrap on my shoulders. Being that my child is 40 lbs I can no longer even think about using the term "weightless", but I have a feeling this wrap is about as close to that feeling as we can get. 

Again for a chest pass all I can think is “smoosh”, because I realize this isn’t a very technical term I’ll add that its “moldable” and has amazing bounce to it. I was able to tighten my chest pass without restricting my chest. The passes glide into place with almost the stretch of Nati bamboo without the inevitable sag. The carry stays supportive and solid while still soft and comfortable.

I did find slight annoyance that the wrap doesn't have enough grip to hold a single knot but is way too thick to double knot. This was easily bypassed by just doing knotless finishes though; so I would keep that in mind if you are looking to purchase in the decision on what size to get. 

While I think this wrap would be stellar from newborn to toddler and beyond I personally would not recommend it for a new wrapper. Between the thickness of the wrap and the bounce/stretch that is has it may seem overwhelming for a newer wrapper that doesn’t know how to handle those qualities. 

Surround yourself...

A wise woman once told me:

Surround yourself with people that possess the qualities you wish to aspire to. 

So today I will strive to surround myself with people who are: 

Fearless

Passionate

Truthful 

Loving 

Giving 

Selfless

People who do good for good's sake instead of self promotion. 

Those who love and forgive those who have harmed them. 

As these are the things I want to be. 

That and I want people that aren't offended by myself, my cussing problem ;) , or my children. That'd be cool too. 

30 Day Carry Rut Challenge

As an effort to rediscover my joy in the thing that changed me as a mother (post to come more about that later) I'll be doing the 30 day carry challenge. Really just as an excuse for more ginger snuggles ;) 

1. DH Rebozo
1. Normal:http://youtu.be/oyHskW3gl6g 
2. With ring finish: http://youtu.be/JsEu_Tu67_4
3. With ring sling finish: http://youtu.be/3unmM9Qekgk
2. Half-JBC 
1. No Shoulder flip:http://youtu.be/5HtlTfb21Vg
2. Symmetrical w/ shoulder flip: http://youtu.be/mDIIIgVXwKI
3. Ruck
1. With beginner tips: http://youtu.be/H1Dn7wGZng0
2. Some finishes variations: http://youtu.be/ZQLxsgp0y2A
4. Pirate Carry (RRRR)
1. Normal:http://youtu.be/wZQVbApRXr4
2. With FCC finish (for tandem wearing): http://youtu.be/9UDswkrjBFw
5. Mermaid
1. http://youtu.be/WmUDeUHuguU
6. DHDR
1. http://youtu.be/H40Dbhab5ls
7. Half-FWCC
1. http://youtu.be/FLQp-p1WHXo
8. Shepherd’s
1. With a slip-knot: http://youtu.be/9SQfzGsP0Eg
2. With Leg passes: http://youtu.be/ed774Y7f1Hk
9. Knotless DH
1. http://youtu.be/9oABtXH-yKA
10. DHTAS
1. http://youtu.be/hOf-Oh2-vTY
11. SBCC
1. Normal:http://youtu.be/M2t8ZKEixYo
2. With Candy Cane Chest belt: http://youtu.be/OQqQoitb708
12. Sweetheart
1. http://youtu.be/kiLqYXjDVHE
13. Elleville Jordan’s Back Carry: 
1. With Slip-Knot:http://youtu.be/IoxViVcbN34
2. Candy Cane Chest Belt: http://youtu.be/Cv1wV6IqjEk
14. Kangaroo
1. With Newborn:http://youtu.be/4zywAD_38CU
2. Reinforced: http://youtu.be/WxaA-GNPbFo
3. Semi Pre-tied: http://youtu.be/zFr1zs7AKKU
15. FWCC
1. With a newborn: http://youtu.be/7gJEIYTQRTk
2. With a toddler: http://youtu.be/nPejVuOMdtk
16. FCC
1. http://youtu.be/oJtmL1DAUF8
17. Robins
1. http://youtu.be/Rl9jxeoJE4c
18. Poppins
1. http://youtu.be/ALgrqgmiZc0
19. Christina’s Ruckless
1. http://youtu.be/68sve1KdYyg
20. Taiwanese
1. Normal: http://youtu.be/fmVEgtU1-W8
2. Variation:http://youtu.be/DLtNEsQVLFY
3. One Shouldered: http://youtu.be/LIY6VmYf7ZA
4. Shorty variation:http://youtu.be/jBz2yXXf-j8
21. DH
1. http://youtu.be/SnNIMyk-WjI
22. DRS2S
1. Long: http://youtu.be/NjRKuT4wxIU
2. Short: http://youtu.be/Iy95xN9MTPQ
23. Knotless ruck
1. http://youtu.be/j1O1KAfCv68
2. With sling ring: http://youtu.be/cMRidCxccfo
24. Coolest Hip Cross Carry
1. http://youtu.be/jy4GWHg3Ebs
2. Inside-out: http://youtu.be/Q3CbwwMxTR4
25. SHBC
1. http://youtu.be/q3IzE8dkRoI
2. Pre-tied: http://youtu.be/ZHI7OViYwLg
26. Norwegian Wiggle Proof 
1. http://youtu.be/Nj6TMjJuepg
27. Rear Rebozo
1. With slip-knot: http://youtu.be/mx7hUCfqErU
2. With Ring sling: http://youtu.be/8-whEqHBOIU
28. Gisele’s Back 
1. http://youtu.be/DiSR_Z-pkcs
29. DHTT
1. http://youtu.be/VlOBlyyKE3k
30. Xena BWCC
1. http://youtu.be/Swy_GfF28Fc

December - A Re-introduction

I promise my posts will not be such personal rants as this will be. I like babies, babywearing, hippie stuff, homeschooling, crochet, and well general awesomeness. Those that know me know that the past 6 months have been a difficult time. In fact typing out "difficult time" doesn't seem to do it justice. Now. Now it is December. There's always been something about December that makes me want to stop and refocus my life; I guess I get that New Year's resolution bug earlier then most. This December it wasn't really optional though, this December it was time for a new slate. After attempting to get back to "my life" after Elias in June it took a long hard slap in the face to realize that just wasn't in the cards. So December is the month of change. It time to start over, move on, and be joyous. And yet again this starts with food and another Whole30. I have a couple things that I have been putting on the back burner for a long time that I am finally able to focus on. So in short: Let's get ready for 2015.

EDD's: the Hope and Pain

My 2nd son is a quiet small sweet child. He just turned 4, loves sleep, and rarely rarely does his voice go above what people would call an inside voice. He is an amazing blessing to our family (as are all of our children) and we are grateful for every moment he's here. 

When I was pregnant with him I suffered from HELLP that presented as only severe migraines until my 3rd trimester. To make a long story short I ended up admitted to the hospital with him at 33 weeks 0 days and they were unable to get my blood pressure down after several attempts and my husband was told it was deliver him then or I wouldn't make it. He was born by emergency cesarean weighing 3 lbs 5 oz. He was whisked away surrounded by hospital people and I didn't get to even see him until he was more then 24 hours old.

When you're released from the hospital after having a baby it's supposed to be a joyous occasion. Getting the carseat in for the first time, finally getting to use all those teeny tiny baby clothes you washed, hung up, and stared at for weeks before. When you're released from the hospital weeks before your child there is nothing but pain in those items and emptiness in your home. 

I held on hope. Hope to what they tell most NICU parents: "babies usually come home around their due date". All I had to do was hold on and wait and wait for that magical day on the calendar and I'd finally get to take my baby home with us. 

And that day finally came! It was a long journey to there and up until recently the most painful thing I've ever walked through. But he came home! Him and his very very tiny self. 

When we found out our fourth son no longer had a heartbeat and and was delivered at a little under 18 weeks. That due date... That useless number you're given when the egg timer of pregnancy goes off and your "done"... Well it became more of an endless source of pain. Instead of being the day our baby should come home by; it is the day our baby should have been here but wasn't. There's no hope in numbers and dates.  

This is where I'd insert my ultra picture or some evidence that my son existed but I have none. There is nothing but the pain and emptiness of this day. 

Non birth story.

On Tuesday June 12th I went into my midwife's office for my normal monthly check up (I had my 7 year old with me because he wanted to hear the baby) and she was unable to find a heart beat. It was after 5pm so I needed to go to the hospital quick before the people that could get me into get a sono closed. My midwife called the people and confirmed they would get me in as soon as I got there. 

So off to the hospital I went with my 7 year old. Upon getting to the hospital they told me that I'd have to call and make an appointment tomorrow when the dept that handles the sonos are open. The midwife was able to track someone down to get me in and I was take back to get a sono at about 6pm alone with my 7 year old (who I gave my phone to play with). At no point in the sono did I get to see the baby the screen was faced away from me the entire time and then the tech said she had to call the midwife to confirm the readings. 

This was the last contact I had with my midwife. She informed me over the sono tech's phone that the tech found no heart beat and the baby had passed. I was 17 weeks and 2 days. The tech told me to go to the ER where I was lucky enough to have some friends that had come up to the hospital waiting room with me and I decided to wait for my husband before going back into the ER. 

A friend picked up my husband and children as I had the car with the car seats. And we were checked into the ER where they did labs and placed an IV. The on call OB was called to come and talk to me about what my options were to "void my uterus." 

When the OB arrived after an hour or so I was given the option to either induce labor or to go to an abortion clinic. At the time I was unable to make any decision and just wanted to go home. I was released from the ER at approx 11pm that evening (the OB said I only had a day to decide and I needed to come back). My husband dropped me off at home and went and picked up our children.

I spent that entire day in bed unable to function... Trying to spend what little time I had left with my baby. We decided to induce labor and we went to the hospital at 7pm Wednesday evening. There was a lot of check in paper work and ID checking, etc. but all I remember is signing a bunch of paperworks that I was checking into the hospital for "fetal demise." At one point the woman that was checking me in asked her coworker how to spell demise. I tried to close my eyes and ignore them. 

At approx 8:30 that evening they placed cyotec and we waited. I listened to music and tried to pretend this wasn't happening. 

At approx 11pm I had to go to the restroom and upon sitting up I felt what I thought was my water breaking. Quickly though blood gushed every where over me and the floor. The nurse came in and the blood just kept coming it was soaking through the pads and towels as soon as he placed them. So she called the OB come into the hospital. 

I don't remember how long it took for the OB to show but in that time the nurse tried to see how dilated I was wand couldn't because there was too much blood and clots. The OB showed up with her practice partner and it took them several times to get through the blood and clots to feel that my waters were still in tact and at that point they decided that I needed to go into surgery. 

When I woke up from surgery I was alone. This is the feeling I'll always remember every time I wake up. 

Creamy Avocado Dressing

Ingredients:

2 small avocados 

Juice of one lime

1/4 cup of liquid coconut oil (if it's solid met in a pan on the stove) 

1/2 can of coconut milk (combined)

3 tablespoons apple cider vinegar 

2 tablespoons minced garlic (I really like garlic so keep this in mind!) 

Salt and pepper to taste

Place 2 small avocados in food processor or blender, add like juice and coconut oil and blend until smooth.

Add apple cider vinegar, coconut milk, and spices. Blend until smooth. Taste and add more salt/pepper/garlic to your liking. 

Be a good hippy and store in a mason jar ;) (mine are blue so the color is a little off) in the fridge. 

Dear Children, be true.

Why is it important that we teach our children to be true to themselves? 

I believe we are fearfully and wonderfully made. What that means to me is that God has made us completely unique to be used in a unique way to serve Him. Within us as children is a spirit, an essence, that God has given us, a pull towards him and a unique and beautiful personality. I think sometimes as adults in an effort to "protect" our children from the cruel, harsh world we try to make them fit into the nice happy acceptable box that society approves of. In doing so I think we are losing part of the beauty that is our children or making it more difficult to grow to love themselves as God does.

I believe as a parent I am here to guide my children to find themselves in The Lord, and as much as I want to be their protector from "the world" that's not my job it's God's.

Pslams 31(Amp):

19 Oh, how great is Your goodness, which You have laid up for those who fear, revere, and worship You, goodness which You have wrought for those who trust and take refuge in You before the sons of men!

20 In the secret place of Your presence You hide them from the plots of men; You keep them secretly in Your pavilion from the strife of tongues.

If we teach our children to change themselves or not speak their heart for fear of bullying or prosecution... The world not only wins, but we have taught them to place their valve in the thoughts and actions of men (of this world) instead of finding their value in the Love of our Lord. 

So you're frustrated, sweaty, and on the verge of tears?

- Some little tips on learning back carries

Tip 1: NO BABY JEANS!
Yes baby jeans are OMG IM DYING ADBORBS! but they have zero give which makes getting that nice "M" position and a deep seat hard esp if you're a new back wrapper.

Tip 2: Feetie PJs once size too big If you feel your child needs to wear feetie PJs only wrap in ones with PLENTY of feet room! When making the seat in a wrap job it takes some of the material in the pants and it can squish their toes or cause issues with you being able to get a good seat because the fabric is too taunt on the PJs. If you aren't addicted to feeties skip them and opt for leggings and socks ;)

Tip 3: Just do it naked! Learning to back wrap has a serious learning curve by itself if at all possible when learning do it at home and with minimal clothing in the way (for both you and your baby). For more info on this go to thebabywearer.com and look for the naked double hammock thread ;)

Tip 4: Both rails matter! When making your seat I know we all always focus on that top rail being snug! But the bottom rail being loose is just as important so that it's free to have the width to get it nice and deep seat. (see video at the bottom).

Tip 5: Start simple Focus on getting comfortable before you start trying to do the world's most complex 20 step carries. If you're terrified of how you're going to get your baby on and off your back? Just do that! When I first started back wrapping I practiced that first. Explore all your "getting baby back there" options and try them out and see what works for you! Get comfortable.

Tip 6: Distraction! If your baby is a little bigger and frustrated with how long you're taking to learn your new skill give them something MAGICAL! something they aren't usually supposed to play with ;) suggestions your phone, the TV remote, and maybe even bribing with food (this is much cleaner if you're following tip 3).

Tip 7: Mirror mirror This will differ with people but some people really are helped by being in front of a mirror when wrapping so they can see what they are doing. Other people may find this more difficult and prefer to feel what they are doing instead.

Tip 8: NO TOUCHING! If you have a spotter ask them not to touch the wrap unless you know you're about to drop the baby (have a code word lol).

Here is a video for a visual aid (sorry for the sake of your eyes I am clothed ;) ):

In case you were confused. A toy buying guide brought to you by Target.

Have you ever walked in to the toy section and felt just so very overwhelmed with all the options? How on earth am I to know what to purchase? Well Target hears you and is here to help!

What you need to know:
1) The age of the child you are buying for
2) The sex of the child you are buying for
3) No personal likes or preferences needed!

Are you buying for a child under the age of 3? You're in luck! For this age group the sex of the child does not matter you may pick a toy you think the child will enjoy from either of the yellow backed aisles. Feel free to browse and choose based on the child's likes or developmental level.

Buying for a child over the age of 3?
Now this is where people were confused! Target has made your life easier by color coding the toy aisles based on the sex of the child you're buying for!

If you're buying for a girl you can buy from any of the pink backed aisles. With all the lovely selections like Barbies, dolls, and those lovely new "girl Lego" kits called something like "Lego Friends" (be warned though if the child you are buying for has had confused gifters before that didn't have this lovely system Target has provided and got boy Legos these girl Legos WILL NOT FIT! How it should be of course! Boy and girl toys should not mix!).

Now on your boy aisles you'll have the lovely blue backed shelves with everything a boy would ever want! Like regular Legos, action figures, toy cars (you know cause girls shouldn't drive so we shouldn't let our daughters play with these! Smart move), and other various mucho stuff. These aisles will keep you safe from any unfortunate gifting blunders like accidentally encouraging nurturing fathering actions or God forbid encouraging a boy to want to cook or become a chef (come on that's a female dominated career!).

Now if you feel you've mastered gift buying you may venture into the arts and crafts section back in green. But BE WARNED! this is not for the toy shopping novice! There are no signs here to keep you from buying a friendship bracelet kit for a boy! Be careful!

Why my home is clean and how it doesn’t make me a bad mother.

A new trend I’ve seen popping up all over my feed and IG is a variation of the following statement:

“Good moms have messy homes and happy children”



Let’s take a moment to really look at this statement and what the meaning it is putting out there is (I will attempt to look at both sides here but because I am human and I have all the thoughts and feelings about this keep in mind I’m biased).

What I think this statement and the people posting it are attempting to do:
- Point out that we as mothers are not super heroes and it is hard to do EVERYTHING and sometimes you have to choose what you are able to do and what is put off for later.
- Kids make messes and thats ok and even awesome, its the big messes that sometimes teach them amazing lessons! (have you ever made slime or done finger paints? its fun. I’m not denying that!)
- That you can be a good, loving, and amazing mother to your children even if your home isn’t spotless (completely true).

What else it says (to me) that perhaps the posters of this statement didn’t think about it (or other comments I’ve heard/read on statements like these:
- If my home is clean I am not a good mother.
- If my home is clean my children are not happy.
- You should spend that time you’re wasting cleaning focusing on your children and doing things with them.
- This whole thing feels very break others that do something a different way down to build yourself up. I’m not for that.

Here’s the thing my home is clean most the time. Is it easy? No. Does it take a lot of effort on my part? Yes, in fact I often lose track of the times I vacuum in a day (my kids are still little there are crumbs!). But to me and my family it is important.

First off, this is not our home. As with everything else we have in this world it is not our’s it has been given to us to use by a loving, generous, and graceful God, and as such I believe it is my job as a mother to show my children that I respect what we have to use so that they can also grow up to appreciate what they have been given and also take care of it. Does this mean I do all the work in my home? No! In fact it means the exact opposite. It is everyone’s job to love and respect our home and the objects in it. I do a lot of the work currently because I do not work outside the home and because my children are still very small. We teach them age appropriate ways that they can assist with taking care of our home (for example: picking up their toys, taking the laundry to the hamper, sweeping the floor, clearing the table, etc).

Secondly, this teaches our children responsibility. In a similar way to having and caring for a pet we have and care for our home. It is our responsibility. Its not always fun but often in life you have to do things that you do not find enjoyable to get to a goal that you want (I find this to be an invaluable lesson!). I do not WANT to clean the toilet (come on who does?), but I would enjoy not seeing urine all over it when I go to the restroom (I have 3 boys it happens ;) ). You may not want to have to take 2 college english composition classes (I know I didn’t!) but your dream is to be an entomologist and you need a degree to do that.

And finally, my children do not need my constant attention 24/7. I am of the thought that it is important for children to have independent play, it is important for them to be bored so that they can develop their imagination and creativity. This doesn’t mean I’m cleaning while they are upset and wanting me (unless its the baby I’ll put him on my back), it means I allow them to play, build forts, make castles out of egg cartons, or maybe read a book… by themselves and I do something else. In my mind I believe it is important for children to learn how to work and play independently, because when you grow up you have to learn to motivate yourself and work independently and be able to do so without fear of messing up or needing supervision.

As I’ve said in the past we all have to make our own priorities for our families. We must choose what is important to us and what works for our family. With that I respect other family’s rights to do this and without judgement, so I’d like the same respect. I would never think to post something that said “Messy homes make messy children” (sorry I couldn’t think of anything!) as I feel thats an attack on someone who has different priorities then I do. They don’t love their children any less then I do and they are not any less of a “good mom”.

Cesarean awareness month.

It is cesarean section awareness month. So this seemed as good a time as any to share my story.

I have 3 sons (6, 2, and 11 months 50 days old). With my oldest I was uninformed and when my doctor suggested that I could get induced at 36 weeks I thought "wow! Yes I'm ready for this to be over!". So I was induced... and in labor for 32 hours... on oxygen... got and epidural... and pushed for I don't even know how long! Needless to say it was a traumatic experience. We were extremely blessed our oldest was in good health and his lungs were developed and he had no interventions.

So when me and my husband were expecting our second it wasn't something I was looking to duplicate. I read. I researched. I became more informed. But... I had pre-eclampsia (HELLP i believe) that wasn't diagnosed until my blood pressure was too high and would not come down. So I had an emergency cesarean section at 33 weeks gestation. I understand the medical need for this surgery as it likely saved my life. None the less I have never quite felt so very powerless. He was born 3 lb 5 oz and I was not able to see or hold him for 24 hours... Even then I could not hold him as he was hooked up to the wires and mask thing. And again we were so very blessed (albeit stressed beyond my then understanding of the word) that our second son did so well in the NICU and was there 6 weeks (the longest 6 weeks of my entire life) and came home 4 lbs 15 oz. We are so blessed he.came.home.

Something happens when you become the mother of a preemie... pregnancy is no longer a burden no matter the pain you're in or how uncomfortable you are. You would do anything to make sure you never have to be in that place again. You don't understand why other mothers would ever try to rush their babies out why they wouldn't just let them come on God's time. You cry reading statuses of pregnant friends doing all they can to have their baby early, scheduling early unnecessary csections, and inductions.

So when we were expecting our third son I was cautious because the history of issues... I took time off from working to minimize my stress. I was told I had to have another cesarean because I'd had one before. I was told I had to have another cesarean because it hadn't been 18 months between pregnancies. I did not believe this. So I researched I asked online support groups for advice and links of articles to read. I armed myself to fight for what I wanted, MY normal birth and a healthy baby. So on I went. I had migraines (the same ones I had with our second) went to neurologists and my OB and there seemed to be no cause so I dealt with them the best I could. So I come in for my 36 week appointment an after I'm done with the appointment my doctor says that he's scheduled my delivery for the next week and has filed all the paperwork to do an early delivery because of my issues. When I informed him that I didn't want a cesarean I've never had someone's attitude change on me so quickly! But he angrily wrote down in my chart and said we could do a "trial of labor" (which in my discussions and research was a giant red flag) so I researched my OB and come to find out he had over a 50% cesarean rate in his births. I thought I could still do it, I really wanted to deliver at the hospital my second was born at, I thought I was empowered enough in my decision and plan to overcome him.

And then came my 39 week appointment. I could tell he was getting more annoyed by the fact the baby had not come yet and more so at the fact that I was choosing to wait. He wanted to induce. I did not want to because the stress induction can place on the csection scar can raise the chance of issues... The likelihood of a vaginal delivery to turn into a csection from induction skyrockets!!! ... And then it came. The moment that has completely lost my faith in this country's OB practices... He told me that if I did not have this baby soon that me and my child would die. He told an emotionally venerable 9 month pregnant woman who'd recently dealt with traumatic NICU experience that I was choosing to KILL MY BABY!

And that was the day I fired my OB.

I found a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) doctor and hospital... They couldn't get me in for a week. I saw the new doctor and his entire vibe was different. I went into labor that day! I was in active labor approx 6 hours with no interventions and pushed twice. Our third son entered the world at 9 lbs 5 oz worth of healthy baby. And WE went home the next day. Together.

The cesarean rate in this country is unbelievable. And we are taught to trust and believe our doctors so we don't give a second thought to them telling us that it's what we need to do. But we as women need to trust our bodies above these doctors... Our bodies are meant to delivery babies! No matter how "big" that inaccurate 3rd trimester ultrasound says our baby is getting :-/

Read this: http://www.friscowomenshealth.com/?option=com_wordpress&Itemid=205&lang=en&p=89

And read more.

Dairy free avocado smoothie!!!! #Paleo

So I love avocado smoothies! I used to have them all the time... Sadly my breastfed chubs:



While extremely adorable and avocado loving himself, has a horrible dairy sensitivity :( ... And as these:

are the normal ingredients ... It's just not happening!!

So #BAM altered recipe!!!



1 large avocado (ripe)
1/2 cup almond milk (be a better person then me and make your own ;) )
1/2 cup ice (I used crushed because my blender has moments)
4 teaspoons of honey (local and raw of course!)

Put in blender! And well blend until smooth ;) add almond milk if too thick for your taste but it should be the consistency of a milk shake....

Mmmm... Magic!



And Gingerbaby approved!

Paleo Carrot salad! Make it. Eat it. Be happy!

Sometimes I'm tired and don't really want to cook! I know it's shocking cause every mother of three boys is over flowing with the time to cook three homemade meals a day!

And sometimes... Yes sometimes! I love chick-fil-a happy chicken and Jesus who could ask for more! If you're unfamiliar with Chick-fil-a I'm going to assume you aren't from the south and poor you you've never had their amazing carrot salad!



Yeah I read the ingredients and I was sad! So here's a pretty good alternative! This is easy and quick to put together and actually tastes better the next day ;)



Ingredients:

1 bag of grated carrots (be a better person then me and grate your own)
1 small can crushed pineapples - drained (check the label or be a better person then me and cut a pineapple
Juice of 1 lime
3 of those little boxes of golden raisins (or really how ever many you want! I love raisins so add some more!)

Directions:

Mix all that shit up in a bowl.
Done.
No really thats it!
Like I said though it tastes better the next day as the carrots suck up lime and pineapple juice... So throw it in a ziploc bag and put it in the fridge (or be a better person then me and use a nice glass container of which all ours are currently in storage :( )

Obimama Custom Wrap Conversion Half Buckle Review and pictures

Obimama Wrap Conversion Half Buckle Review

One day the clouds parted and there was a magical ray of light!! YOU'VE WON A CUSTOM OBIMAMA!! I won my slot from a photo scavenger hunt but there are other (many ways) of scoring either a slot or pre-made Obimama (see her blog post here: http://www.obimama.com/1757/in-the-news/how-do-i-get-an-obimama/).

I'd been on the hunt for a custom WCHB slot for a while (for the idea that would become my Obi) and I'll admit I was skeptical of the whole Obimama hype... All the pictures I'd seen were gorgeous! But could this carrier really live up to the hype? I have a lower back injury and I've NEVER been able to get buckle carriers or Mei Tai's to work for me for too long without pain.

So I tracked down the wrap I'd been dreaming of my WCHB being made of! and off it was shipped to Jen! Who then ... Ok prepare yourself because I love this! ... set up a time to CALL ME! To discus my custom. What options I wanted, the appliqué I wanted on the hood, and made sure she understood how I wanted my appliqué. Her attention to detail just during this conversion got me excited! I knew it was going to be just how I wanted it and beautiful!

I honestly can't recall the exact turn around time but I believe it was about a week and a half from the phone call to getting my carrier in the mail. I'm pretty sure I've never been so excited for a package! This was it! The custom I'd been dreaming of having made for so long! In.my.hands!



And yes it was perfect! And beautiful! And BETTER then I had even imagined (the mustache appliqué had hair! So creative!)

So the real test? How did it work? Was it comfortable? Would my back ache like carries I'd tried in the past?

It was wonderful! My Obi is a short stage 2 with XL straps (for my very tall husband we'll get to him in a minute) and no extra 3rd layer. What the lack of a third layer or extra linen support means for me? It molds like I wrap. It is soft and snuggly and I can get a perfect tight carry with re-enforcement passes and wear it for HOURS!



I also got the Zen straps. These have all the comfort of padded straps but still all the wrapping and finishing options of wrap straps! Because they spread like wrap straps if am doing a front carry I'm able to spread the straps across my back to distribute the weight of my babies.



Now my husband. The man that no matter what I tried would not use any carrier really but his BabyHawk OhSnap... Is now a convert! He will always choose the Obi over the OhSnap! And because he is not a wrapper he just wears it like a Mei Tai (no re-enforcement passes just over and then under the legs) he uses it for hours walking around with both my 10 month old (21 lbs) and my 27 month old (27 lbs).



So in short. Obimamas totally live up to the hype! Not only are they lovingly sewn and beautiful wearable works of art... They are functional and comfortable carriers!!